Hostel

I was walking through the long white corridors of my hostel. They seemed like a maze to me through which there was no escape. Not a soul could anywhere be seen. Each door was closed and everyone was engulfed in the darkness pretending to be dead. White tubelights flickering were casting a sinister shadow on the wall. It was like the evil gloominess following me wherever I went.

I turned the shower on. Chilling cold water was numbing my soul piercing my dress, my skin and my self. A single hot tear forced itself through my eye but it was drowned in the flood.

***********************

I came out of the shower excitedly, dressed myself looking into the mirror. A beaming face, with excitement writ all over, looked at me. After all, it was my birthday today. From the stairs, I could see my father sitting at the dining table and having his breakfast. With a leaping heart and jumping feet, I ran towards him.

Crash!
The lovely vase was down into a hundred pieces. Deafening silence!

"You good-for-nothing fellow, dont you have any work other than jumping and breking things dearer than you."

My eyes were fixed on a painting of a ship caught in the storm. I was remembering what had actuated me to paint that.

"Say something, you lousy thing. How long we have to tolerate your idiosyncrasies? Its enough! You are going to the hostel tomorrow."

My mother looked sympathetically at my father. Didnt she have any sympathy for me?

I ran back into my room thinking what my worth was. Even the inanimate vase was dearer than me. I had everything, still I had nothing. When I wanted my mother to feed me, all I got was, "The food is in the freezer. Have it when you are hungry." When I had fever and wanted someone to muss my hair, all I got were expensive medicines. When I wanted someone to share my laughs and cries, all I got were toys showered upon me. I was never a son for my parents. I was just a medium through which they could show how affluent they were. I was no-one.

********************

The dull thud of my wet slippers pierced the silent night like a dagger. Water dripping from my clothes was leaving a trail on the concrete floor. The stairs to the roof were too steep for my tired legs. Pale moonlight covered the roof like a white carpet. The stars were twinkling as laughing among themselves at my plight.

At a distance, I could see smoke from the fire the guard had lit up to brave the cold.

***********************

I coughed as the smoke blew into my face.

"So you dont smoke cigarettes, huh?", barked a senior.
I didnt say anything
"Take this."
I took a puff. It left a hot burning sensation in my throat. Tears had welled up in my eyes.
"Kneel down, you bastard!"
I knelt down. The sound of my breathing was so heavy for me that it drowned out the outside noise.

"Lick my shoes!"
I looked at him pleadingly.
"Do as I say, you frigging idiot!"

The fear and torment in my eyes made him laugh. That hyena laugh taught me something. That he too was a victim. That he too had once looked with such pleading eyes at a ruthless senior. That he was here to share what he had learnt from this world.

The leather tasted of stale, sweaty skin.

***************************

My breath now made me aware of that stale odour emanating from my mouth.

The trees on the other side of the roof were swaying their branches as if inviting me to come to them. The breeze whistled past my ears, "Come to us, come to us". The pale moonlight was saying, "This world is not yours. Come to our world, your world!"

I as walking in a trance towards the end of the roof. I thought of my mother. Would she remember me when I'm gone? Would she cry for me? Would anybody cry? Was I no-one? Didnt I belong to this world?

The trees, the breeze, the moon all had got a new friend in their world, my world...