Some days back, I got a comment on my Chatbox that my posts were degrading to women, that I treated women as "property" in my posts and what if the character had been my sister and thoughts of that sort. I dont have the original comment otherwise I would have posted that. Now, I did not pay much heed to the comment as it was anonymous. Unfortunately, my Chatbox got deleted while I was changing my template. Now I have got this new comment on one of my posts, presumably by the same person. It reads as,
"Oh I notice you have removed your shoutbox after I left a message there. That still doesn't make you a woman-respecting man. In fact it shows that deep inside, you know it's true as well. I didn't mean to sound harsh. It just came out in a bout of anger. But really, I would ask you to take a moment and reflect on whether you really want women in your life to be like that."
Why am I taking notice now? Because now I can assume that the commenter is really serious. Because it hurts me to think that it could be a woman who seriously feels this way. And I really want to know if unknowingly I am writing something that is 'really' degrading to women. So, I want to clarify ceratin things about my posts.
First, though nearly all my posts are written in first person, they are entirely fictional unless otherwise stated. I hope I dont believe I have to write a disclaimer at the beginning. Though fictional, I have always believed in my characters and it would not be wrong to say that a part of 'me' is in them. I know my stories have mostly dealt with girls, imaginary sex and friendship. But in my defence, being a student, these are the topics I am comfortable with and I believe you should always write on topics you are comfortable with. I have always been a "woman respecting" guy. Though I dont have a sister, I really really wish that I had one. I have always believed that the bond between a sister and a brother is the most amazing one. I hate perverts and can never imagine of being one. I have a number of female friends and I can assure you that they will confirm this. Yes, sometimes I have dealt things like sex and love and girls lightly in my posts but all of these have been strictly written with a cheesy sense of humor.
So Miss Anonymous ( I beleive you are a girl from the sensitivity of the allegations), I would like you to come forward( with your original name) and tell me which part you found "degrading to women". I sincerely promise I will try to rectify myself in future. As for others, I would really appreciate it if you could tell me if I am going overboard in terms of decency when I write about sex and things like that.
12 comments:
What i feel is dat 'fiction' is 'fiction'... u need to enjoy dat. I neva felt ur posts were degrading to women...
And how could smbody not write bout women. They r more intersting n complex to be written about than men. Though not necessarily sexually, but i mean the 'aura' and 'mystery' that surrounds women is b'ful.
Its nice to kno dat u r takin ur readers serioulsy...whether u lik dem or not.
well now that u mention that most of ur posts are fictional, i tried comparing to a lot ive read... and honestly i don't feel any of your posts were degrading to women.
The cheesy humor is actually endearing, reminds me of my guy frnds in college and the way they talk...its got this engineer charm abt it which is unmistakable.
no offense taken saint...
and since u let me be ur editor {:D}, i sure will point out anything i find indigestible in any of ur posts.
lol...poor u :P
i dont think i have read the recent stories you posted so i have dont have much of an opinion in this regard but i appreciate the fact that you have posted this to clear the confusion. I think it was the right thing to do if you really didnt mean to be disrespectful in the previous posts :)
i believe tht every person has got the right to say smething tht he believes in.. n every other one has got the right to criticize.. i dont think u should change u'r style jst bcoz of a few critics.. wht one person saw in u'r post may nt b the same as wht sme1 else sees in it.. u write for people, remember; n nt for an individual!
tht s my view, in general!
hey ty for stopping by my online home :)
Reading ur post, I realised ur just another victim of online anonymous JUDGES. Trust me, I hv been in ur shoes the entire 3yrs I hv been blogging. Anony ppl harassed me, cloned me, left abusive and judgemental comments abt me, my family, my race etc etc. They did everything they ever could to bring me down. Yes, like u, I was hurt and wrote many posts like this, trying to get them to show their faces. But u know they'll never tell us who they r...cos they r ashamed of themselves and most prolly r jealous of u. Thats why they do this kinds hide n seek dirty business.
Just ignore and move on. Never change who u r for someone u dun even know the name of. This world is made of various kinds of ppl. We cant please all of em. So smile :) and forget abt these losers.
TC n all the best!
Keshi.
hmmmm....
okie... i agree wth a statemnt made abv--"u write for people, not for an individual"
Now, look u do have 'sex, girls' in most of ur posts but frst thing they are all FICTION... secndly, what u write hasnt been degrading, thrdly u are frank and if thats ur style so be it...
u mentioned bng "cmfrtable" with these issues and I agree wth u that oe can write only abt things one is cmfy with...
saint-bring it on...
:)
oh commmme on! whoever said something like that was sure ulta-mega-super-major overthinkin.
@ dave
yeah women, many authors have made livings writing only about them...how can you just ignore them???
and yes, i want everyone to enjoy my posts and nt to get hurt...
@ vands
hy thnx, that left me a li'l more cheered up...
and thnx ms editor...
well fiction is fiction
n unless we as writers start caring abt other thing while we r writing, we can never create a story.
so carry on
iv already said this b4, ur an amazing writer
n i am tellin u this again
carry on
ul always have ppl objecting but u cant stop them, neither can it stop u
cheers
Well, first of all, thank you! Secondly, now that some of your readers have already labeled me an 'anonymous JUDGE' and someone not worth taking note of because you don't even know my name, I guess I should just continue to stay anonymous. Although, I must tell you that I blog as well and the internet is not as huge as we think it is. You might bump into mine. I don't want you to hold previous judgments, should that be the case.
Now, we write a lot of things thinking people will enjoy reading it,but sometimes it's not so. And it's okay. So, don't worry too much about it. I know I have made my point. You will think twice before writing degrading things, I am sure. And it means a lot to me as a reader, that you took it seriously.
hi miss anonymous,
i m glad it meant a lot to you that I took it seriously...now what wld it mean to you if i shouted fck you at the top of my voice...
And whoa! "I ll think twice before writing degrading stuff"... Lol... who told you that??? And it seems to me you are the only one who finds my stuff degrading...so mu sound advice to you wld be to write at ur "ohh! i m so right" blog and stop trespassing at blogs you find offensive...you are as welcome here as a tampon in an orgy...
and i don't hold your behavior against you because i realize that its ur passion to mess with random strangers...but tell you what, i love messing...so if you have balls, which obviously you dnt have( wow...its a pun, i m so creative), we will see some action...
so, for starters, GO TO HELL...
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