The "Love Stick" Mails

I hadnt opened my spam mail folder since a long time. And now when I opened it, I was shocked to find plenty of "Lengthen your love tool" mails. Now wtf. Who told them. ;)

Here are some of the mails I have recieved.

Top secret of most lovers have been discovered.

Duh! Ask Dan Brown to write a novel on it. 

Ensure your potence and make love everywhere.

Everywhere?? * rolls eyes*

You are born to become her best lover.

Oh Am I ? And how many lovers she has? 

Few simple steps to dominate in bedroom.

* rolls eyes again *

Get a magic tool for lady's satisfaction.

Magic? I dont want one. What if it vanishes midway in the act? * imagines it and is terrified*

How to make your gf 10 times happier.

10 times? Can we bargain? 

All that she is dreaming about during long nights.

Wtf. And she said she was dreaming about me.

5 reasons why men cant satisfy women.

Are there only 5? *scratches head*

Spice your bedroom life.

Like all the spices in my dining-room life werent enough.

Want to become master of love making art?

Hell, no. * looks above and changes  decision*

Be the stud in 2008.

Shit! Why hadnt I seen this before. Can I use  it for 2009?* pleading for an yes*

Find your love stick gain here.

Love stick? Man, atleast have some respect for it. * sneers and curses*

Keep it up fast and simply.

Nice pun! You should have been a writer man.

You will be absolutely amazed when you see your penis gradually becoming Larger and Larger, right before your eyes!

Hell, what if it does not stop becoming larger( with a capital L). * imagines the size of the underwear needed* 

Just out of curiosity, I visited the sites mentioned. Normally, our college connection settings would not have let me open those  but then I always use proxies and all for the sites I want. ;) 

And believe me, what I saw there wasnt good. Besides a before-and-after photo, yeaawww *vomits all over his laptop*, there was info about ingredients, side effects, types( yeah it comes in herbal for those eco friendly people out there) and even a money back guarantee. And also different men toys ( quite different from those which you had as a kid, duh) like a ring and a ball crusher( also with photo) *vomits more, now drowned in his own vomit*

I quickly exited the site, took a few deep breaths and started thinking about my maths prof to banish those images. But it didnt help, rather it made things worse.( If you what I mean) ( For those who know what I mean, it was complete with rings and all.)

So that was it. Just now, deleted all the spam mails and promised myself never to take a look at them ever again. Really, never.