"My Crushes" Episode I

Whenever I go to somebody's house, the first thing they ask me is "Would you like something to eat?" No, it has nothing to do with their hospitality; its just that I am so cadaverous that they fear I would die on them. Guys who meet me for the first time often ask me if I am preparing for the International "Whos the Thinnest" contest. Though being a firm believer in "Happy as Single" philosophy, yet I fall in love quite easily. If you have read Wodehouse, you can take me as Bingo Little who just falls "madly in love" with every girl he sees on the street. Since a kid, I have had innumerable crushes; so I thought it would be a good idea to list out the major ones. So heres the first episode of "My Crushes"


When I joined Enginnering, I had thought I would have the time of a lifetime. I would have like one girlfreind each year of my study and maybe some extras for the years I had missed. But when I enetered classroom, I had the shock of my life. We have just four girls in a class of sixty students.One reminds you of one of those village girls who has been given too much steroids by her coach to take part in some obscure athletic championship. The other one would surely get maternity leave if she asked the professors...I mean she is that plump. Then theres the other one who wears glasses so thick that I often wonder if they are bullet-proof. And she is called "Chessboard" by the guys for obvious reasons. This leaves us with the fourth one. I would not call her beautiful but yeah her face is a familiar one. Lets call her Priyanka.

Well, the first time I saw Priyanka, she actually reminded me of my pet puppy. She had the same small nose, the same eyes. I was just waiting for her to jump towards me, barking with glee, wagging her tail, if she had one. I was really missing my puppy and I thought that this girl can surely fill the void. When I looked at her and smiled, she smiled back at me. This was the same smile when mu pup got a lice little bone to play with. I calculated that I had a 1/59 probability of getting her attention and so I decided that I must do something drastic. Valentine's day was coming near and I knew that this was the time to strike.

We have this club at our college that fools freshers into buying hand-made Love cards, Crush cards and things like that on Valentine's day. And most of the guys having come directly from all-boys school and nevr having seen the other 'variety' are duped into the trap. The club sends these cards to girls who half of the time dont get these cards and even if they get dont care to open them. I bought a card( not a hand made one though) with a beautiful quote with the hope that atleast that would impress her. Now, having seen a lot of romantic movies the day before, I decided on writing a love letter.( I curse that moment now.) Now this was my first love letter and I really didnt know the details like which paper to use and all that. After searching thoroughly, I decided upon those blank sheets on which we wrote our assignments for professors, got a pink pen from a friend( someone had told me that pink is the color of love and I really dont know why the hell he had a pink pen with him).

If God gave me a time machine on the condition that I couls use it only once, I would just go that fateful day and stop myself from sending that letter. How embarassing it is, man? Its like you were peeing outside when your girlfriend's friends catch you in the act with all your deficiencies( ahem...if you know what i mean). Seriously I had told just one friend about the letter but the next day, everyone came asking me "Hey was it you who wrote the love letter to Priyanka?". I got a couple of threats, a couple of encouragements, a couple of sympathies, a couple of advices. I even got a couple of requests for writing love letters the next Valentine's day. It was as if the whole college had lost interest in everything except me. And I hated it.

Can you imagine sending a love letter to a stranger? And that too so cheesy that you could spread it on your bread and eat it. I mean, in which century did they stop writing lines like "If there is one person in the whole world I would give my life for, it is you" (As if she would believe that and even if she did, as if I would believe that) or "The first time I saw you, the sky became bluer, the fields greener, the birds chirpier and my heart flutterier" (Man! What the hell is fluterrier?) If I got hold of that letter now, I would surely auction it as some vintage stuff. Even Shakespeare would be embarassed.

The next day, when I met her, she was like this puppy who had been picked up by a stranger and wanted desperately to get down. She never looked me in the eyes again. I never got to ask her what she felt. After some days, she got a boyfriend. The first time I saw them together, it was in my chemistry lab and I seriously wished I was like a Jeanie or something so that I would could get inside the test tube and drown in the obnoxious smelling chemical. Ofcourse it didnt happen and I lived to have a new crush. That was the end of my puppy love. Now ofcourse I Priyanka and puppies too.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day (Fiction)

 

 

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I dont have a girlfriend. What a sucker I am!
"Sneha!"
"What?", my sister woke up from her afternoon reverie of watching tele soaps.
"You have to get a girlfriend for me. Tomorrow I have a party at Sahil's and I cant go there alone. Please do something ", I pleaded.
"What! You think I am a pimp or something. Okay I will see. I will call my friend. Probably she will agree. "
"By the way, what are your plans for tomorrow?", I asked.
"There are some lovely Valentine's Day special programmes on tv. Ofcourse I wouldnt miss them."
"Ofcourse you wouldnt. What better way to celebrate" I thought to myself but kept quiet.
                                                                        * * *
When the door bell rang, I hadnt anticipated it would be her. There she stood in a beautiful black dress. Had my sister told her that black was my favorite color? She was not conventionally beautiful but somehow I liked her at first sight. She had a cute round face with eyes that seemed to be sparkling. She wasnt exactly grinning but somehow her eyes showed she was smiling. The dark circles under her eyes made her look more beautiful.
I didnt realize that I was standing at the door and staring at her all this time till Sneha came in.
"Hey bro! This is Silpa. She will accompany you to the party."
I wish I hadnt shown my broad smile there.
When I went up to dress, I could hear some girlish chatter. Probably my sister giving her advice not to get too close with me.
    
I suggested walking to my friend's house. It was nearby and walking would give us the time to know each other better.  As we were walking, I could see the street dog looking down angrily at me as if thinking "Lucky bastard".

She told me that she was Sneha's classmate in college. After some coaxing, she also told about Sneha's crush on her English prof. This made for the recent interest my sister showed towards English.

Being not very good with girls at the initial talk, I realised I was getting along well with this one. I wanted to spend some more time with her.
"Do you really want to go the party" , I asked clearly indicating that I expected no for an answer.
"Actually I loathe such parties. I just came because Sneha insisted" , she said.
"Why not go to the cafeteria instead?"

The coffee house was decorated with red heart shaped balloons and mushy posters. Valentine's Day had caught up pretty fast in this small coastal town.

"So what do you think of Valentine's Day", I asked amused at all the decorations.
She smiled and said," I think Valentine's Day is nice in the sense that atleast it gives you a chance to show your love to someone in the mad and hectic lives we live these days. But I really wish everyday was a Valentine's Day in this love forsaken world."

I looked around and found couples everywhere. Holdind hands, looking into each others' eyes, making out, the place was filled with them.

"You call this world love forsaken?", I asked curiously.
"You think these couples sitting here really love each other? The guy would dump the girl if she gets a pimple and the girl would ditch him if he has no money left. Thats how deep their love is. Love has now become lets-spend-some-time-together rather than lets-make-it-forever."

I loved beaches and took her to my favorite spot. It was an asphalt curb far away from the crowd where you could sit and look at the beautiful sunset. The orange sun as if drowing into the sea was the most breathtaking view in the whole world.
"So why are you single this Valentine's?", I asked.
"The guy I loved said I was not worth him" , she said without a pause.
"What? ", I exclaimed thinking what a loser the guy was.
"He was one of those who think 'I love you' is just a step towards sleeping with someone. He said he wanted to have sex and I said no. I have my values and I would live up to them. He said I am old- fashioned and broke up. I have no regrets."
There was neither a tear in her eyes nor a crack in her voice, just naked pain staring at me as if her hate would engulf me,engulf this whole world.

We sat on the beach, the wind blowing her hair. Sometimes a strong wave coming would  wet our naked feet. The sun had drowned and there was just the glow of faraway streetlights. She was looking at some children playing while I was looking at her. She looked beautiful, angelic.
"Do you look at those urchins playing? They know how to live lives. Everyday they go back to their hell, working hard, taking beatings from their drunk fathers, they also know the dark life that awaits them. Still they come here everyday to play and laugh; for a little time forgetting who they are, what will happen next, they enjoy themselves. Isnt it wonderful? I want to be like them, Abhi. I want to forget all my worries and live my life happily, without a care."

"You certainly will, dear" , I said.

"No, Abhi. I cant. I am alone. I am so... alone. I want someone in my life. I am so ...so afraid to be happy. I am lost. I want someone to take me home. I..." Tears rolled down her cheeks as if all the strength which had blocked them till now collasped in an instance. She was crying like a child. 

Somewhere deep inside my heart, I could feel something I had never felt before. Emotions overwhelming my existence, my thinking, my own self. A tiny lump rose from my chest choking me. I wanted to say a thousand words but words didnt come to me. I wanted to hold her so tight that I would never lose her. Tears welling up my eyes too, I leaned forward and hugged her. All I could hear was the rushing waves and the lovely laughter of the children.l

Popstar - For Jiggs ;)

I hope all of you have heard "Rockstar" by Nickelback. If you havent, theres a video alongside. Now Nickelback is one of my favorite bands with some mind blowing numbers like "If Everyone Cared", "How You Remind Me" and "Someday". I love this song "Rockstar" too. It has got such a satarical feel-good mood to it.

But wait till you hear this spoof of "Rockstar". Its titled "Popstar" and takes a dig on mainly Britney, Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Simpson. When I read Jiggy's post asking everyone not to abuse pop, the first thing I was reminded of was this video. :P The singer here is awesome and sounds eerily similar to Chad Kroeger, the lead singer of Nickelback. The lyrics are quite funny and oh, the video to go with it,I promise you will just see it again after you have seen it once.






Have fun! Will come up with a new 'real' post soon...

My Institute - Now and Then

Well...Today, I got some old ( and I mean really old) photos of my institute. Its just beautiful to see that nothing much has changed over here. Here are some snaps of my institute - NIT Rourkela, now and then.

A view of my institute taken from a nearby hill... Doesnt it seem like Heaven?

Thats my dept building. BTW, my dept is mechanical engg.

Well...thats the workshop, where we mech guys spend most our time working on machines and tools :(

Thats the computer center...won my first multiplayer gaming competition here :)

Main insti building at night

Side Gate to the Institute

Main gate - connects us to the outside world

And now taking a dive into the past,

Institute Main Building, 1966 - Imagine a building of these dimensions in '66 :0

Institue Main Gate, 1971 - Read the quote below it...cool, huh?

The audio-visual hall being constructed,1971 ...We watch movies here now...

The dreaded workshop, 1971...Grrrr

The Hydraulics lab, 1966 ...Believe me, it still looks the same now...

Got some more wonderful pictures but will post them later...

The Doors Of Hope

I am trapped in this dungeon
Misery and gloom everywhere
I cant see a thing, there's so much darkness
Have I gone blind?

Slimy moss all over, slimy creatures slithering on it
I don't belong here, I say to myself
I crawl towards the doors of hope
I can see a faint light outside

I see a white shadow looking at me with a scornful smile
Or is it just my fancy
Why am I so scared of him?
I wish this was a dream but I fear it isnt.

Tired and hungry, I don't want to play this game anymore
I want to go again to the quiet confines of my home
But where is my home, I seem to have forgotten
Was I always here, trapped?

Its freezing, the cold water dripping on my skin
The smell is biting, as if someone's dead
Or is it the stench of imminent death?
I ask myself, am I already dead, Is this hell?

Is someone looking for me outside
Or have I gone unnoticed
Everything's so slow, Is time really passing
I cant remember for how long I have been here

I crawl, slither, wriggle towards the doors of hope
Hoping to find light and bliss at the end
This hope keeps me alive
Keeps me from dying in this miserable cell called Life.