My Days At School Part 1

With just a semester for me to graduate, I am a bit nostalgic. I decided to write about the wonderful days I had here at NIT Rourkela. But then, I realised it would be incomplete without describing about the exciting days I had at school.

I studied at two schools- HVB and De Paul, in the same city though different from each other in every way. And I guess I have had different experiences at both these schools. So, I have divided this into two parts. This part deals with my life and experiences at my first school- Harobino Vidya Bhavan where I read till class 6th.

HVB was special because-

1) They had a ridiculous uniform. White shirts- RED pants. As the children walked gaily on the streets all uniformed, they looked like mini bandwallahs. Ofcourse, I loved that as red was my fav color at that time and I loved the bands.

2) The canteen was a cement platform around a big Banyan tree where you could barter your paratha-achar with the other guy's bread-omelet.

3) The best of all- We call our teachers 'Aunties'. I spent a good many years explaining that they were more than just teachers to us. They were more like caretakers and it was more of a personal relationship than a professional one. While I was explaining that, I was thinking, "Yeah, whatever but Aunty?" I cant believe that I spent half of my school life calling my teachers Aunty.

4) Hindi was the official language in and out of the class as even some of the teachers spoke funny English.

5)It was my first school and obviously firsts are always special. In the words of one of my friends, I lost my edu-ginity over here. Though I dont remember the first day at school, I know that I cried a lot. Yeah, a lot.

6) My elder brother was in the same school and I blackmailed him whenever I got the opportunity. It was mainly for the remote.

7) I really thought it was the biggest school in town.

8)I made some really great friends here.

My mum says I was so good with alphabets and numbers as a kid that I directly got admitted to the Upper KG. I remember that I was good at maths and weak in rhymes. I tended to get the poems all mixed up. When the black sheep and little stars got mixed up, I remember I was asked to stand up on the bench. But I made such a sorry face that I was asked by the class teacher to sit down within the next five minutes.

While in class 2 or 3, I made some really great friends- Sanat, Subodh, Subhanarayan, Biswajit and our group always stuck together. At the same time, the Adam-Eve competition had started( I dont really know if Adam and Eve competed for something but it sounds nice). There was this group of girls-  Sarita, Rosalin, Madhu, Rudrani. I loved Sarita like anything during those days.  She was extremely beautiful with short hair, a cute face and lovely eyes. I have never talked with her after I left school but hope to someday. I don't know why but our group of boys always fought with the group of girls. But we had a nice way to fight. We played. A lot of games were invented. But Name, Place, Animal, Thing and Book Cricket( where you opened any random page of a book and the rightmost digit of the page no was your score) were a hit.

In the evenings, we(minus the girls) played street cricket, roof cricket, indoor cricket, outdoor cricket, every form of cricket conceivable. We went out on our bicycles for rides, sometimes in rain. Birthdays were obviously the most special occasion and we used to have a lot of fun. But somedays, we just sat down at somebody's home and killed time. It was on one such day that somebody asked us to talk with Rosalin over the phone on a dare. Everyone just dialled but when the phone rang twice, they just cut it. Ultimately, it was my turn and I actually talked to her. Unfortunately, her father picked up the phone. I asked for Rosalin, told her my name (she was a bit surprised) and then said that I had to confirm the timetable for mid term exam. The whole time, the time table was in front of me and she knew it. So, the next day, when we had a fight, she just stood and complained that I was calling unneccesarily and disturbing her. I stood up and said defiantly I dont know what she was talking about. In the end, the teacher believed me and said, "Yeah! you cant be sure while talking over the phone but am sure Sunil must not have done it." After the class, Rudrani came up to me and said," We know it was you, Good acting though." That day, I learnt an important lesson and have always used it afterwards - I'm a good liar.

I was a good singer at that time. I remember Shraddha Ma'am(sorry Aunty :( ) would often call me to the front and ask me to sing something. I sang starting from Pankaj Udhas' Ghazals to the latest Bollywood numbers. It was nice singing to the whole class looking bored and probably waiting for me to stop.

But my Good-Boy image was soon dying out. Once I called Sarita something bad( I dont remember what), and I was chided by the same teacher as the Rosalin episode. Sadly, I had to leave that school soon after that incident. The school was very far from my new home and also it was degrading day by day.

So in class 7th, I made a jump from HVB to De Paul School. My parents were nervous. Would I be able to cope up with the pressures in a bigger school? How would the course change(from CBSE to ICSE ) affect me? But the thing on my mind was - Friends. I will talk about my life at De Paul in the next part.

Tracking down some of my friends at HVB, I found out that some are working, some are studying, some even got married this year(at 20?! My parents need serious counselling).I realise I havent been a good friend all these days. The friends I cared for so much have just become some random anecdotes I write in my blog, some funny nicknames, their faces so blurred in my mind that I have to look at their stupid grins in my school photo album to remember. Sometimes, when I look at those young kids going to school in their colorful uniforms, I ask myslef if I was like them as a kid. Carefree and jovial. Now, everyone just seems to be in a race, running after their unslaked dreams. In this run, some get left behind,some choose different directions. And after sometime, I realise I am all alone. And I havent even realised the dream I was running after. With every passing day, I compromised with some facet of my dream. And in the end, I realised this was not the dream that I always had. But then I compromise for one last time and say this life will do. Perhaps thats why they are called dreams. Never meant to be realised, just meant to be chased and chased.

The Girl Without A Face

It must be around two years back. I was in class ninth then. The exams were over and the vacations had started. Unusually, it had rained sometime before. A cloudy grey sky and a silent cold breeze were most welcome on a sunny afternoon. The smell of the earth after the rain was intoxicating. The sun after much fight had fallen into oblivion. The leaves were moist and the flowers looked wonderful. I could not remain in the closed confines of my house and went out riding my new bicycle. It was my new-found hobby to 'discover' new roads and show them to my friends.

The road was wet and had high conifers on either side. It was empty but for some small birds chirping and laughing. After riding for quite some time, I saw someone. A boy? No. Her effeminate walk, long locks and pink dress suggested otherwise. She was like a magnet attracting me towards her. I had always dreamed about an angel wearing a pink dress with flowing laces holding a wand. Was this my angel? With the excitement and apprehension of seeing Santa Claus for the first time, I followed her. She had a fresh rose in her hand and was walking oblivious of everything around her- singing and dancing. I was in a trance. I forgot everything about myself and followed her. I lost count of how much time had passed but when I recovered, she was not there.

I cried a lot that night. What was behind that elusive face? Perhaps, I will never find out. I went for many days in search for her on that road. And then, I forgot. Well, that's life.

________________________________

For those of you who think I am sixteen, well I am not. I found this on a paper while cleaning my closet. It seems funny that I don't remember much about this incident. To tell the truth, I don't remember anything at all. I literally forgot. "Well, that's life." If it had not been for this paper, I would not even have known such an incident had happened. And God, I dreamed about an angel dressed in pink, what was I, a goddamn six year old. And " a rose, singing and dancing" , I guess that's the effect Bollywood can have on a child who has not attained puberty. Or has? I don't remember.

Gulzar and My Life

Was browsing through some of Gulzar's works on the net and found this one. Its so simple and yet says a lot...about life, about everything.

Udkar jaate huye panchhi ne bas itna hi dekha..

door tak haath hilaati rahi wo shaakh fiza mein

alvida kehne ko ya paas bulane ke liye

The "Love Stick" Mails

I hadnt opened my spam mail folder since a long time. And now when I opened it, I was shocked to find plenty of "Lengthen your love tool" mails. Now wtf. Who told them. ;)

Here are some of the mails I have recieved.

Top secret of most lovers have been discovered.

Duh! Ask Dan Brown to write a novel on it. 

Ensure your potence and make love everywhere.

Everywhere?? * rolls eyes*

You are born to become her best lover.

Oh Am I ? And how many lovers she has? 

Few simple steps to dominate in bedroom.

* rolls eyes again *

Get a magic tool for lady's satisfaction.

Magic? I dont want one. What if it vanishes midway in the act? * imagines it and is terrified*

How to make your gf 10 times happier.

10 times? Can we bargain? 

All that she is dreaming about during long nights.

Wtf. And she said she was dreaming about me.

5 reasons why men cant satisfy women.

Are there only 5? *scratches head*

Spice your bedroom life.

Like all the spices in my dining-room life werent enough.

Want to become master of love making art?

Hell, no. * looks above and changes  decision*

Be the stud in 2008.

Shit! Why hadnt I seen this before. Can I use  it for 2009?* pleading for an yes*

Find your love stick gain here.

Love stick? Man, atleast have some respect for it. * sneers and curses*

Keep it up fast and simply.

Nice pun! You should have been a writer man.

You will be absolutely amazed when you see your penis gradually becoming Larger and Larger, right before your eyes!

Hell, what if it does not stop becoming larger( with a capital L). * imagines the size of the underwear needed* 

Just out of curiosity, I visited the sites mentioned. Normally, our college connection settings would not have let me open those  but then I always use proxies and all for the sites I want. ;) 

And believe me, what I saw there wasnt good. Besides a before-and-after photo, yeaawww *vomits all over his laptop*, there was info about ingredients, side effects, types( yeah it comes in herbal for those eco friendly people out there) and even a money back guarantee. And also different men toys ( quite different from those which you had as a kid, duh) like a ring and a ball crusher( also with photo) *vomits more, now drowned in his own vomit*

I quickly exited the site, took a few deep breaths and started thinking about my maths prof to banish those images. But it didnt help, rather it made things worse.( If you what I mean) ( For those who know what I mean, it was complete with rings and all.)

So that was it. Just now, deleted all the spam mails and promised myself never to take a look at them ever again. Really, never.

The Break Up - A Comedy

What?

Rahul you have been an hour late and you are asking what. I have been sitting here looking at all these people while the waiter comes every five minutes and asks me if I want something. Do you know how embarrassing it is?

But am I to be blamed for that, Mansi? You know how much work I have these days. Still I take out time and come to see you and it’s my fault if I become a little late due to this bloody traffic.

Do you think I don’t have work Rahul? But I take time out for you, for me. This is the time we should be thinking about ourselves, not about others.

Thats what I have been doing, Mansi. Thinking about me, about us. Things are not like a year back when I had no responsibility. Now I have been promoted. I need to think about my future. Like all, I have dreamt of a big house, a luxury car and a hefty salary. I have to work hard for that. It wont happen if we just declare our love in this restaurant every day.

Yes. I know you have to work hard for your future but don’t I come in your future, Rahul? Dont you want to spend some precious time with me?

Of course, I do Mansi. But I want you to be happy with me and thats why I am doing all this.Waiter...bring us a coffee and a chocolate-vanilla shake please.

No, make it two shakes and make it a little early. I have waited long enough.

Thats what I hate about you, Mansi. You trying to thrust your wishes upon me. You trying to dictate how I should live my life. Why do you get to decide what I want, Mansi. I absolutely hate that.

But, its just a simple coffee, Rahul. I thought a shake would really calm your hot mind and...

No, its not just a simple coffee, Mansi. Its my life. I hate to pamper you everyday, taking you to dinner one day and to the movies the other day. My friends sneer when you call four times a day to say I love you. Do you know what they call me, Mansi. They call me the ‘hen-pecked bastard’. Is that what I am?

But you had said that you don’t care about...

But I have changed, Mansi. I am not that starry-eyed teenager any more who thought that love was the only thing in life you need to live for. I now know success is more important than love. I want to be successful, Mansi. Real successful. And whenever I want to climb the mountain to reach the summit, you love kind of drags me down to the hell I had always been. I want to come out of this.

Say it straight, you bastard.  Say that you are now bored of your girlfriend of three years. You have fucked me many times and thats what you have always wanted to do. Isnt it? Thats what all guys want. You now think I will scream and cry that you want to leave me. No Mr. Hen-Pecked Bastard, I will say goodbye and go have a sound sleep and...

I know you love me very much, Mansi. But your love has kind of become a burden for me. I carry that burden wherever I go, whatever I do. I want to live my life free not under the weight of your love. I am sorry, Mansi.

But Rahul...please Rahul...we have made it through three years. We should just give it another try. I promise I wont bother you, I wont even call you Rahul please...

No Mansi, we will talk about this some other time and I promise it wont be soon.

Rahul, wait please...

Ma’am, your two chocolate-vanilla shakes.

Fuck you.

My Crushes - Episode II

During one of those late night discussions at hostel, I was asked to list all my crushes. And believe me, it was really difficult. Starting from school teachers to perfect strangers, the list is seemingly endless. I have always believed in crushes more than in love. Love was like that unexplored territory which I was always afraid to go into. A crush was friendlier. It never demanded anything. I have always enjoyed my crushes. The times when I am thrilled, excited, frightened and passionate at the same time.  So, this is the second in the series of My Crushes.

 

I was at home enjoying??  the vacations. Each week had seven weekends and I was bored as hell. I joined a guitar class and also convinced one of my friends to join it. It was like crash course in 2 months of my vacation .

 

The class began every  morning at 8 and I was never late. The first time I was late, I saw a black pair of sandals at the footstep. As  a reflex, I straightened my hair, looked in the rear view mirror of the bike and went inside. Sitting there was the most cute girl I had ever seen. Believe me, you could never associate beautiful or sexy with her. She was just cute. No wonder her friends at school called her Angel.( I learnt this later) We just smiled at each other that day. It was just a friendly smile but I kept remembering it again and again. I practised very hard that night to impress her the next day. The creature that I was, I kept thinking of the perfect introduction line all night. For two days, I didn’t say anything. The third day, she asked me to play a note for her. I was a little nervous but I think I did all right. We began talking after that. She always talked like a li’l girl and I had always hated that. But there was no hint of fakeness in her tone. It was just plain innocence.

 

 Most of the times, our teacher would give us a song and go somewhere. The three of us used to have discussions on almost everything during these recesses. We used to have arguments on topics starting from “Vegetarianism”  to “Gayism”. She was a staunch supporter of  No-meat campaigns and I clearly remember she almost cried out in one of the discussions. Those classes were really the most interesting classes I ever attended. I found that she used to blog too. And good ones at that. I will soon post a poem by her.

Most of my friends never understand the fact that she was just 15 when I had a crush on her.Like age decided everything. They never understand that love is not always wanting. They never understand why I could have attended that class forever even if my fingers hurt like hell from all the strumming, why I would wait everyday at the gate just to walk beside her to the class, why I would look at her beautiful but clumsy fingers on the strings all throughout the class and why I would stare nervously at her only to look down when she saw me. Some things are better experienced.

 

 Some days before leaving, I wrote her an e-mail saying that I had a crush on her. Sometimes my friends ask me why do I always have to tell the girl. Well I have always believed that it hurts more saying nothing, wishing you had, than saying something, wishing you hadn’t. We exchanged mails for some days after that. And when I came back to the college and didn’t see her anymore for many days over, the feelings slowly faded. The mails stopped. I didn’t ask for her cell number. I will meet her someday, maybe in a few days, maybe in a few years. The day I meet her, will I be able to recognise her, will this old crush again rekindle itself, will she be as cute as she was the last time I saw her. But for now, I am free of these thoughts. That’s the magic of a crush. It never comes with a burden like love.

 

If someone asks me what I love most about a crush, I would say its the memories. The memories of love are often bitter, often painful. But the memories of a crush are always endearing. A crush comes in your life like a sweet flower, filling your life with all the fragrance and then it fades away, leaving a memory as sweet. Its like that wilted rose, which has been kept in an obscure book for so long that now it would crumple on touching or that yellowing love letter, kept carefully somewhere to always remind you that someone, at some point of time liked you more than anything else.

The Time of my Life

I know I have been absent from my blog since a long time, but then I think I have a good enough reason for it. Campus placements were going on in our college and I have been seleceted in a couple of companies, Accenture and IOCL. What I felt when I got my first job is worth a separate post. Though it has been a long time since then, I never got time to write.

I had always wanted to do an MBA right after college. But somehow, that plan seems to be fading now. I would now like to enjoy my job for a couple of years, and then do my MBA from a good institute. Its strange how life takes us in with all its twists and turns.

I smile as I hear these lines from "Time of your life" by Greenday,

Its something unpredictable
But in the end, its right
I hope you had the time of your life.

I nod and say "I did".

Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na

Finally, I got to see Jaane Tu... Verdict - Predictable yet enjoyable.

I was a big fan of its music since its launch( will come back to it later) and had waited to see this movie for a long time. Yesterday, I got the time. And I must say that I was a little( yeah a little) dissapointed.

Right from the start, where the freinds are narrating the story to another girl waiting at the airport (Chalte Chalte ?), the movie was quite predictable and seemed a mix and match of all bollywood formulas. Theres the poor guy - rich girl story, theres the friendship-or-love theory, theres "duniya ke sabse cool parents", theres the typical oh-he-is-so-bad villian who slaps the heroine, theres slapstick humor provided by two deranged souls, theres over the top melodrama in the end with the hero riding a horse to the airport and policemen falling over each other. In the hands of a bad director, I am thinking what a mess this film could have been. Probably, even the director realises this and therefore he gives away the story in the middle. You know Jai'll beat the bad guy, you know he will go to jail, you know he will then ride a horse to the airport and you know there's gonna be a happy ending. You just wait for that to happen.

Having said that, the movie was never boring. Yeah, it dragged a bit in the second half but full marks to the director for the awesome presentation. All the actors were brilliant and did their part with ease. Imran plays the role of a simple, friendly guy and no doubt most of the girls find him cuteeee( though one of my friend finds him gay :O) Genelia looks as lovely as one can be and I wish she was given more credit for the film, all of which is being taken by the new Khan. The friends seemed believable and the chemistry between them was nice. I specially liked the guitar strumming girl with her punk looks. Bombs, she was called. Lol! Aditi's brother was great as an estranged friend. Meghna was okayish with her escaping-reality theory. Nasserudin Shah and Paresh Rawal were funny. Though the Sohail- Arbaaz stunt was a nice one, but I think it was dragged a bit. There was always subtle comedy( Coca Cola on the rocks Lol!), dialouges were nice, backgorund music was awesome and the songs were out of the world. Overall, though predictable, you will definitely enjoy it. There have been duds in the name of musical romantic comedies in Blooywood and this one seems to be one of the best of its genres.

Sound Track

If you havent heard all the songs of Jaane Tu..., go now, beg, borrow, steal, kill, shoot, do anything but get the CD. Never since Dil Chahta Hai have I found a film where all the songs compete with one another for the top spot. My love for "Kabhi Kabhi Aditi" is already known. "Pappu cant dance saala" is already a chartbuster. "Nazrein Milana" is another nice and peppy track. I am sure you will be humming it after a few hearings. Then there are two versions of "Jaane tu mera kya hai", a wonderful song, both in terms of its lyrics as well as music. Sadly, this song is not included in the film. Theres a lovely romantic song, "Kahin To Hogi Woh". With its haunting lyrics, it certainly reminds you of "Tu Hi Re", another A R Rahman track. Last but not the least, theres "Tu Bole Main Boloon", the title track, sung by A R Rahman. As usual, he does a brilliant job and the song is one of the best in the albums. After Guru, its nice to see A R Rahman's music in a new avatar and I am glad I live in his era.

Like The Sunflower

This poem,a metaphorical love triangle is written by one of my best buddies at school Jai. In fact it was him who introduced me to writing in the first place. Loved his writings then. Love his writings now.

Like The Sunflower

A flower was born from the barren skies above,

Life was her colour and smile was her scent,

She was a gift for the land of love,

That the selfish god had so reluctantly sent.

The droning bee was created one day

He was thirsty but couldn't drink water

"How should i live" to god he prayed

"Go to the flower" replied almighty creator

And so to the flower he went

"I'm the bee that god has sent"

She asked the bee "will you be my friend

That the selfish god had promised to send"

Thus friends they became forever

And this friendship created nectar

That gave life to bee and the flower

And made sure they remained together

The sun was there all along

And his story ran from dusk to dawn

As he was infatuated to the lovely moon

But this was going to change very soon

The moon shone alike for all the stars

With cool glow she reflected his heat

And the sun's feelings slowly vapourized

"I too am a star" the sun finally realized.

So to days he turned from the night

And saw the flower in his own light

At this age as naturally as one might

He fell in love, again, at first sight.

Flower gradually found all her bee friends boring

And looked at the skies one pretty morning

To find the sun who was looking cute and adoring

And since, with each other, they started gossiping

From sunrise to sunset they faced each other

Their private chatting seemed to end never

Her name was changed by someone very clever

And thus she became the pretty SUNFLOWER

The sun ignored the planets and the flower ignored the bees

They were seen alone at hilltops, they were seen near the seas.

The bees found other gardens the planets didn't stop revolving

The sun's light was fading and the flower's fragnance dissolving

Still ignorant of the world around

Love sweet love they had found

Until one day so hot the sun became

That it paused this lovely game

This growing heat scared the flower

But as she was now the sunflower

She couldn't turn away from this fiery fellow

And her colour of life faded to a dusty yellow

And this story continues forever

Bees like the sun and the flower

But they never search for nectar

From the yellow sunflower.

Written by Jai Singh Kshatri

The God that did not exist

Fiction. Written in haste at 2 am. May contain grammatical errors, spelling errors. Kindly point out if you find one.

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I was blinded for a second. I had used every ounce of my energy on pressing the brake. And now it was as if I was dead from the exhaustion. A little ahead, a crumpled body of a small girl lied in a pool of blood. People were gathering around her. I realised that my car had hit her but then I was too numb to realise anything else. Some young men came to me and spoke something but I could not hear them. The noise in my head was too loud. They nodded their heads, put me in the back seat, picked up the girl and put her head on my lap, and one of them started driving.

It all seemed a nightmare to me that I could not wake myself up from. As I sat there with the girl’s blood soaked head in my lap, I looked at her face. She was beautiful, looking at me as if smiling. Her eyes were closed, as if she was in a deep sleep unknown to everything that was happening around. I had lost my parents in a car accident when I was a kid and a part of me had died after that. A part of me that had so much belief in God. A part of me that had known that God could not be so unkind as to take away the ones I love the most. And it was an irony that now I was involved in the life and death of this small girl whom I didn’t even know, through a car accident. As much as I wanted to look away, that tiny locket on her neck, carrying the image of Krishna, the Hindu God , was attracting me. Swinging like a pendulum, as if to delineate the time left in the little girl’s life, it was like a dagger going into and out of my heart.

At the hospital, the doctor gave me a medicine and I slowly returned back to normal. I thanked the men who had brought us here. They told me that they had informed the police and it would come here any time. I was taken to the police station and questioned. The girl was some orphan, I was rich, I was not drunk and the men had testified that it was the girl’s fault. So, the police said that it would not be a big trouble for me. But somehow, it didn’t make me feel comfortable. As I went back to the hospital, I found the doctor and asked him how was the little girl. He said there was not much he could do and asked me to pray.

Pray! If it had been any other circumstance, I would have laughed. I had stopped praying since so many years that I had forgotten how you did that. It was not easy at first to be a non-believer in this society. People always ask you why don’t you believe in God? I have always avoided this question saying i am a rationalist and not an atheist. Basically, an atheist is a believer too. A muslim does not believe in any other God but his own, his Allah. An atheist does not believe in any other God, including Allah. So, a muslim is an atheist too and atheist is a believer too. Tell an atheist there is God and he will defend his stance with great ferocity. But as a rationalist, there is no question of presence or absence of God as everything is based on reason and science.

I had been to the church many times with my father, as a kid. The one thing that struck me most about the church was its silence. Like a lonely tree, it often stood out with its high ceilings and painted glass windows. Entering the church was like entering into another world, a world of serenity, a world of grandeur, a world that instilled fear nad respect at the same time. Whenever I heard the toll of the large bell at the church, a shiver ran down my spine. My father, a devout Christian himself, would always take me to the masses. When he met with the accident, I prayed for him day and night. I prayed with all my heart but when he died, i realised a simple truth about the world. And I have lived with that truth till now.

A child is always a non believer. He never understands hate, jealousy, danger and evil. He just understands one language- Love. Nature, even animals, understand this language. Strangely, we don’t. But then he grows up and when he keeps his tooth under his pillow for what seems like forever and does not get the moon he had always wanted, he realises life is not fair. He realises the fat man he had always believed in is just a fictional character. Then, he is told by his parents about God. And about the greatest excuse mankind ever intended- Fate. That day, he loses himself. He starts to realise he is just a mere puppet, he belives in his destiny and blames it if he goes wrong. Its strange that whatever he wants to do coincides with what God wanted him to do and whatever he could not do was not written for him by God. Man, who is so intelligent is not able to recognise that if there had been a God, he would have never the world bear so many misfortunes. He would have never let anyone to be born crippled, He would have never let so many innocents die in the name of terrorism. Man actually understands that but still clings to the belief because believing in yourself is very difficult. And that innocent child is somewhere lost in this belief in God.

But today was different. I had to pray. That image of Krishna on the swinging locket kept haunting me. I decided to pray for the little girl, as I had done for my father.

In contrast with a church, a Hindu temple is a dark and dingy place, most of them in caves. Beggars line the entrance of the temple, with outstretched hands asking for alms. On the inside, you see a fanatical celebration of God, people singing praises of the Lord called bhajans, people, with vermillion smeared on their face, wearing holy robes dancing to the cries of Hare Rama Hare Krishna. As I went inside the sanctum, the air was suffused with the smell of burnt oil, garlands of flower lay on the statue of Krishna as people came and knelt on the ground and prayed. I stood there, my eyes closed, my palms joined on their own, as I heard the continuous toll of the bell. It made me uneasy as the church bell always used to do. Still, i stood there. Images of the girl’s face, the swinging locket and the stone statue of Krishna raced through my mind. And it was then that I knew the girl would be alive. I was alive with a new hope I had never experienced all these years. I realised hope was not a string of dew drops which faintly clung to reality as I had known, but that hope was a force. It was a force strong enough to move mountains. If there had been no hope, there would have been no world. Its only the hope of a better world that keeps us living and working in the first place. I realised what my father meant when he said during prayers, he was closer to God. I felt God coming down and saying to me that the girl would be all right. I felt relieved. I spent the entire night at the temple.

The next morning, when I went to the hospital, I was feeling good because I knew the girl would be all right as God had said me that. I searched for the doctor. When I found him and asked him about the little girl, he hung his head low. I did not hear what he had to say because I knew that the girl was all right.


Epilogue

I cremated the girl at Haridwar, a shrine for Hindus. That locket with the image of Krishna is placed alongside a small Jesus in my room. I always take my children to the church and to that Krishna temple. And I often tell them this story about a small orphan girl who made me see God again.

Kabhi Kabhi 'Jiggs' Zindagi

I am so much in love with this song...Cant stop myself from humming it everytime...Genelia looks cute and lovely as usual...Imran looks good too...There are some movies you have a good feeling about even before they are released. And this movie qualifies to be placed there. Hope it doesnt dissapoint as just another college flick.

Found the lyrics of this song on net... The lyrics are simple yet fresh ...And really make you a li'l happy if you are down... And hell now I find Aditi a more beautiful name than earlier...And Rashid Ali has done a great job as the singer...With his swayings, sometimes like Adnan Sami, the song feels more peppy... And what to say about A R Rahman... The music is classy and funky at the same time. I just love the guitar strums throughout the song...

Posting the lyrics so that you can hum along( the song is on the upper left corner)

Kabhi kabhi Aditi zindagi mein yuhi koi apna lagta hai.

Kabhi kabhi Aditi wo bichhar jaaye to ek sapna lagta hai.

Aise mei koi kaise apne aansu o ko behne se roke?

Aur kaise koi sochle everything's gonna be ok?

Kabhi kabhi to lage zindagi mein rahi naa khushi aur naa mazaa.

Kabhi kabhi to lage har din mushkil aur har pal ek sazaa.

Aise mein koi kaise mushkuraye, kaise hasde khush hoke?

Aur kaise koi soch de everything gonna be ok?

Soch jara jaaneja tujhko hum kitna chahte hai.

Rotein hai hum bhi aggar teri ankhon mein aansu aate hai.

Gaane to aata nahi hai magar phir bhi hum gaate hai.

Ke Aditi maan kabhi, kabhi saare jahan mein andhera hota hai;

Lekin raat ke baad hi to sabera hota hai.

Kabhi kabhi Aditi zindagi mei yuhi koi apna lagta hai.

Kabhi kabhi Aditi wo bichhar jaaye to ek sapna lagta hai.

Hey Aditi Hasde hasde hasde hasde hasde, hasde tu zara.

Nahi to bus thora thora thora thora thora, thora mushkura.

Tu khush hai to lage ke jahan mein chhaayi hai khushi.

Suraj nikle baadlon se aur baantein zindagi.

Suun to jara madhosh hawa tujhse kehne lagi.

Ke Aditi wo jo bichhad-te hai ek na ek din phir mil jaate hai;

Aditi jaane tu ya jaane na phool phir khil jaate hai.

Kabhi kabhi Aditi zindagi mei yuhi koi apna lagta hai.

Kabhi kabhi Aditi wo bichhar jaaye to ek sapna lagta hai.

Hey Aditi Hasde hasde hasde hasde hasde, hasde tu zara.

Nahi to bus thora thora thora thora thora, thora mushkura.

Just wish I had someone called Aditi to sing this song to. In her absence, I hope probably Jiggs wont mind. ;)

I am not what you think I am

Some days back, I got a comment on my Chatbox that my posts were degrading to women, that I treated women as "property" in my posts and what if the character had been my sister and thoughts of that sort. I dont have the original comment otherwise I would have posted that. Now, I did not pay much heed to the comment as it was anonymous. Unfortunately, my Chatbox got deleted while I was changing my template. Now I have got this new comment on one of my posts, presumably by the same person. It reads as,

"Oh I notice you have removed your shoutbox after I left a message there. That still doesn't make you a woman-respecting man. In fact it shows that deep inside, you know it's true as well. I didn't mean to sound harsh. It just came out in a bout of anger. But really, I would ask you to take a moment and reflect on whether you really want women in your life to be like that."

Why am I taking notice now? Because now I can assume that the commenter is really serious. Because it hurts me to think that it could be a woman who seriously feels this way. And I really want to know if unknowingly I am writing something that is 'really' degrading to women. So, I want to clarify ceratin things about my posts.

First, though nearly all my posts are written in first person, they are entirely fictional unless otherwise stated. I hope I dont believe I have to write a disclaimer at the beginning. Though fictional, I have always believed in my characters and it would not be wrong to say that a part of 'me' is in them. I know my stories have mostly dealt with girls, imaginary sex and friendship. But in my defence, being a student, these are the topics I am comfortable with and I believe you should always write on topics you are comfortable with. I have always been a "woman respecting" guy. Though I dont have a sister, I really really wish that I had one. I have always believed that the bond between a sister and a brother is the most amazing one. I hate perverts and can never imagine of being one. I have a number of female friends and I can assure you that they will confirm this. Yes, sometimes I have dealt things like sex and love and girls lightly in my posts but all of these have been strictly written with a cheesy sense of humor.

So Miss Anonymous ( I beleive you are a girl from the sensitivity of the allegations), I would like you to come forward( with your original name) and tell me which part you found "degrading to women". I sincerely promise I will try to rectify myself in future. As for others, I would really appreciate it if you could tell me if I am going overboard in terms of decency when I write about sex and things like that.

The Ice-cream Parlour Girl Again

Before reading this, read the previous post "The Ice-cream Parlour Girl".

The last thing I wanted was to let Sunny have a girlfriend. That meant an end to many things between us. An end to the long chats we used to have on hot girls, computer games, hot girls, music and hot girls coz all he wanted to talk about now was Sonali. An end to the evening rides on my bike around the ladies hostel. Ofcourse it didn’t mean an end to our porn weekends. Only that I watched them alone now and it was I who brought the CDs from the store now. It seemed weird that whenever I went there, I could find my friend’s brother or my dad’s friend there and I somehow ended up bringing home ‘Pakeezah’ or ‘Mother India’. I had even stopped going to the ice-cream parlour. I once went there alone but I could feel the waiter mocking me with his Dracula teeth. When I sat at ‘my’ table, suddenly I felt the spotlight on me. Everyone in the parlour left everything they were doing and looked at me as if I am the lead in a tragedy play. They were all ready with their ice-cream cups and cones to throw at me if the play went bad. It was scary. I never went there again.

I realised I was losing a lot of hair when my wash basin was clogged with my own martyr hair. My aunt said that I had lost a lot of weight. Though she cant be counted upon as that was her familiar form of greeting someone, even Sumo wrestlers, I believe, if she met one. It was strange that Sunny who could tell from my eyes if I had taken an afternoon nap or not could not see any change in me. Believe me, the worst feeling in the world is when you realise you are now not wanted. Its as if no-one cares about now. Its as if you are invisible now. You can take my word that being invisible and walking on the streets naked or hiding in some girl’s bathroom seemed only fun in the movies. I learned it the hard way.

As much as I was jealous of Sunny, I realised that I had something for Sonali. I smiled like a wet puppy wanting to be picked up whenever I saw her face. I felt a tiny prick in my heart somewhere when Sunny used to tell me how he kissed her.I even dreamed about threesomes where I would be on top of...Okay thats personal. Now Sunny didn’t know a thing about it. So when I told him that I would like to go with them to the restaurant, he seemed surprised.

“What?” , he exclaimed. “We are going on a date man. You are not allowed to come with us.”
“Of course I am. There is no rule in ‘The Official Book of Dates’ that two guys are not allowed in a date”, I said matter-of-factly.
“There is a book? How come you didn’t tell me about it? I need that.”
“Okay, now that I have told you, can I come?”
“Yeah I guess you can if theres no rule”, he said spreading his hands.
It was so easy to convince this guy.


It was a nice restaurant. Red Chinese bulbs hanging everywhere in the beige surroundings looked nice. I didn’t have much trouble finding them with Sunny waving his hands violently from there.
“Man, I searched the book you said in the store. It just had pictures of deserts and palm trees. Nothing real”, Sunny said as soon as I sat down.
I managed to look surprised.
I looked at Sonali. She was looking so beautiful .I blurted out a faint hello.
“Hi, I was waiting for you.”, she said.
What! Did she say that . ‘I was waiting for you’ could mean different things in different contexts. But the first thing to remember when you are with girls is to forget the context. I remember one time when I was with Pooja, the hottest chick in our class and she was so frustrated with me that she said ‘Fuck you’. That was it. I went about telling everybody that Pooja wanted me to fuck me but I didn’t. I was like a hero for some days until I told somebody the context.


During the evening, I noticed that Sonali was looking down even she talked with Sunny. It was not a good sign. I had learned one thing watching the Discovery channel late at night. When the male gorilla looks for a mate, he has just one thing in his mind “Good Sex”. On the other hand, the female gorilla is really confused, she may like the smell of his armpit or the length of his you-know-what, she always has things like ‘will he be a good father?’ or ‘will he take care of me when I am old’ running in her head. And after all humans are closely related to gorillas. So a female (now I am talking about humans) might fall for you initially but when she realises you don’t fit her conditions, she becomes apprehensive. Sunny’s stupidity had initially attracted Sonali. While jogging in park, when you see a guy on the bench laughing at nothing, you feel intrigued. You sit by him and laugh, you feel nice. But then at one point of time, the same laugh irritates you. You abuse him, kick his groin, pinch his nipples hard but he doesn’t stop his stupid laugh. It is then that you realise that he is a stranger and its time to move on. And somehow I felt that Sonali was realising that.


I have been never good at predicting things beforehand. When my sister got pregnant and I told her it was going to be a boy, a girl was born. The next time, I played safe and said that it was going to be a boy or a girl. Again I was wrong. So you see, when Sonali and Sunny broke up, I was happy that atleast one of my predictions came right. I had thought that Sunny would be devastated from it but he took it unexpectedly well. He would sometimes remember her but then Sonali was hot. Things were slowly returning back to normal. As for me, I had never gotten over my crush but I was again busy with Sunny. We now again had the bike rides and the porn weekends and it was a relief to have Sunny bringing the CDs.


It was our first evening at the icecream parlour after Sunny’s breakup. I mocked the waiter now although I missed his Dracula teeth. We had some icecreams for a change. It was then that I saw Sonali opening the door.
She was wearing the same white dress that she had worn on the first day we had met her here. She was coming straight to us.

She sat at out table and then looking straight into my eyes, said, “I like you Rahul. And I know you like me too. ”
Again I felt like I was an actor in a theatre, the spotlight was on me, everyone including the Dracula waiter was looking at me with anticipation to hear my dialogues. If I said them right, I would be a big star. If I messed it up, I would lose everyone, my best friend, my crush, all of them. God! The threesome was so much better in my dreams.

(To be continued...) (Sorry Guys...Could not end it...)

The Ice-cream Parlour Girl

I love the ice-cream parlour at the end of the road. Brightly lit and with plush seats everywhere, a myriad of colors and flavours in rectangular glass boxes inviting you, the air conditioned air with a mild fragnance, this was the perfect place to take out your girlfriend to on a summer evening. And it was only for the last reason that I loved it. I and Sunny( would come back to him later) often would go out to this shop to look at all the couples making out there. Initially, the waiter used to come and ask if we wanted something. But we were always ready with excuses like “Oh, do you have the exotica-de-olivia?” or “Shit! We thought you accepeted credit cards” or “Do you take orders for home delivery coz we dont eat icecreams at public places.” After some days, the poor waiter resigned to his fate and concluded that we were like those uninvited pigeons which inevitably came when you bought a house at the top floor. We would sit at our favourite place and rue the fact that the squint eyed guy was with “hot legs” or that the guy with eleven fingers always came with a different girl. But today was going to be different.

Sunny had been my best friend since the day I knew what ‘best friend’ stood for. He had the look of a rapper who had been forced to turn a schoolteacher. Always with his just-outta-bed hairstyle and his trademark red glasses, he blabbered nonsense incessantly and was annoying at most times. You had to try very hard to like him at first sight. And sights thereafter. My mother hated him. Back when I first took him to my house, my mother was sitting on the couch doing what housewives do best- watching soap opera while the maid cleaned the table squinting at the tv. Before I could introduce everyone, Sunny went, touched our maid’s feet. My mother had been hit where it hurt the most.The closest Sunny had come to a girl was three years ago when he often talked with a girl on the phone. They hadnt met each other but they were “very close”. When the girl met Sunny and asked him if she looked the same as he had imagined, he said,” Hell! You have way too smaller boobs.” That was the end of that. That's Sunny for you.

Today was a special day. Not because it rained on a summer evening, though it was a contributing factor. But because we met Sonali. When Sonali, soaked wet, enetered, every guy on every table looked at her. All the dogs, with thier tounges out were looking at a fresh new piece of bone. While others quickly realising that they were tamed ones, drew their tounges in, I realised I was a wild dog. It was the first time I was happy about sitting here with Sunny rather than a chick. Both of us were smiling at her. She smiled back and came and sat at our table.

“Hi I am Sonali.”
“I am Rahul and this is my friend Sunny.”, I said.
“You can call me Sunny.” Yeah, thats Sunny again for you.
“So, how come you are all wet?”, Sunny asked.
“Oh I was just going to my house when it started raining. I hate being all wet in the rain.”, she said wiping her hair with a napkin.
“Well, you can always pee in your pants during the rain. The warm liquid always feels nice against your thighs. And you dont even have to wash your pants again.”, Sunny said with a serious face.
Probably she took it as a joke and smiled.
“So you come here often?”, Sonali asked.
“Yeah sometimes when we are free and...”I was beginning to say when I was interrupted.
“Yes everyday, not to eat though. We come here just to watch the couples kissing.”
I forced a nervous laugh as if to say, “Nice joke”
We talked for a few minutes till the rain stopped. She promised she would meet us again tomorrow here.


The next morning, I went to Sunny and said I wanted to see her alone. He said he understood. Probably, he had been planning to say that to me before. I dont know why he did that. Sometimes, you think you know a person so well, but he opens a facet sompletely unknown to you. When I went to the shop, Sonali was already sitting there. She seemed dissapointed that Sunny hadnt come. I lied to her that he would come soon. Though we talked, she always had her eyes on the door. I was really jealous that she would like Sunny more than me. It was then that I realised that love is not all about appearance. Love is more about connecting with someone. Weird as it may seem, love is more like a plug and hole combination. If the plug is too loose, it falls off whereas if it is too tight, one or the other usually cracks. You just need the perfect connection to stay alive in a relationship. You may have the most decorated plug but if it does not connect, its useless. And Sonali had connected with Sunny. And “hot legs” had connected with the squint-eyed guy. And the guy with eleven fingers connected with everyone.

That night, I went to Sunny and told him that Sonali liked him. I was standing far off from him as I knew he would do his “I am so happy” dance crushing everything that came within his way. But he silently listened as if he had known this way too earlier. Why was he behaving differently today? Change often creeps me out. As soon as I closed the door, I could hear a vase crashing down. I was too happy that it was the same Sunny...


( To be continued...)
/fiction

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

So no one told you life was going to be this way.

Your job's a joke, you're broke, you're love life's DOA.

It's like you're always stuck in second gear,

Well, it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.

But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.

I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.

I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too.

Been revising Friends again. I can never seem to get enough of it. :)

Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade.

Now, I've never been able to cry as an actor, so if I'm in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling.

Or ah, or, let's say I wanna convey that I've just done something evil. That would be the basic 'I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it'

[Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook]

Joey: Okay, let's say I've just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. [looks all confused]

Joey: And that's how it's done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.

Ross: I'm gonna say this as Monica's brother. Not as your friend.

Chandler: So now you're not my friend?

Ross: Not now.

Chandler: All right.

Ross: So i couldn't be happier cause you're marrying Monica. But if someday you ever hurt her, I will hunt you down and kick your ass.

Chandler: Hahahahahahaha!

Ross: What, what? I'm just warning you. I'll hunt you down and kick your ass.

Chandler: Ok. So now you're my friend again?

Ross: Yes.

Chandler: You wouldn't believe what Monica's brother just told me...

Joey: I am telling this to Rachel! Monica: No, Joey! Joey: Unless...

Chandler: Unless what? Joey: Unless you name your first born after me.

Chandler: What? Why? Joey: Because, I may never have kids. Somebody's gonna have to carry on my family name.

Chandler: Your family name is Tribianni. [pause]

Joey: Oh ho ho! You almost had me there!

Chandler: Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? Your tailor is a very bad man!

Joey: Frankie? What are you talking about? Ross: Hey, what's going on? Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me. Ross: What?

Joey: No way. I've been going to that guy for 12 years. Chandler: Oh, come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and then he ran his hand up my leg. And then, there was definite... cupping.

Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear.

[Chandler and Ross stare at him] Joey: What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?

Ross: Yes. Yes, it is... In prison!

[One of Ross's students wrote a flirtatious evaluation of his class] Chandler: So, who is she?

Ross: I don't know. The evaluations were anonymous.

Joey: Well, do you still have their final exams? Ross: Yeah. Joey: Well, it's simple. You take the final exams and the evaluations, you see whose handwriting matches, and boom! You got your admirer!

Chandler: A hot chick is at stake and suddenly he's Rain Man!

Ross: I would date her but there is a big age difference.

Joey: Well think about it when you're 90... Ross: I know, she'll be 80 and it won't be such a big difference.

Joey: No. What I was gonna say is when you're 90 you'll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.

Chandler: Alright, look if you absolutely have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for.

Rachel: I use my breasts to get other peoples attention! Monica: WE BOTH DO THAT!

[After Monica gets a disastrous haircut.] Ross: How's Monica?

Phoebe: She's calmed down a bit. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.

Ross: How's the hair? Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you Ross. It doesn't look good.

Joey: Can we see her? Phoebe: No, your hair looks too good. I think it would only upset her. Rachel: Oh.

Phoebe: Ross, you can go on in.

Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"

Joey: Okay. [He gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts to leave]

Chandler: What are you doing? Joey: You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions. Chandler: The cushions are the essence of the chair!

Joey: THAT'S RIGHT! I'm taking the ESSENCE!

Chandler: Why wouldn't your parents be happy that we're living together? Monica: Well, um, because mainly, um, they don't like you. I'm sorry.

Chandler: What? What? Why? Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that you're really sarcastic, or that, you know, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.

Chandler: Is this why they don't like me or why you don't like me?

Joey: Here it is buddy boy, you hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.

Chandler: Oh My God, that is so not the opposite of taking someone's underwear!

Joey: Look at me, I'm Chandler, could I *be* wearing anymore clothes?

Ross: What? No. What - what are you doing? GET OFF MY SISTER!

Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...

Ross: I Ross...

Minister: Take thee, Emily...

Ross: Take thee, Rachel...Emily.

[Monica knocks] Chandler: You can't come in! Monica: Why not?

Chandler: Because, uh, Ross is naked. Ross: What? Chandler: Well, I couldn't tell her *I* was naked. She's allowed to see me naked.

Ross: Why does *anyone* have to be naked?

[Rachelle is crawling on the floor behind the couch secretly looking for Monica's lost earring] Monica: Rach? What are you doing?

Rachel: Oh I just can't watch. It's too scary. Monica: It's a pampers commercial. [Rachel looks up at the screen then goes back down...]

Rachel: Oh you know me, Babies, responsibilities, Ahhh!

[Describing her friends.] Monica: Married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, married a gay ice dancer, threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire, live in a box!

Ross: You know how at the end of the day, you throw your jacket over a chair? Joey: Yeah? Ross: Well at her place, instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage.

[Carol is nursing Ben.] Ross: This is the most beautiful, natural thing in the world. Joey: Yeah, but there's a baby sucking on it!

Joey: [watching Carol nursing Ben] If you blow into one side, does the other get bigger?

Joey: Ross, if homo sapiens actually were HOMO sapiens, is that why they·re exctinct? Ross: Joey, they are people! Joey: Hey, I'm not judging!

Ross: I guess I should have known... we'd be out somewhere, and a beautiful woman would go by, and Carol would go, "Ross, look at her." And I'd think, "My wife is cool!"

[Ross is newly divorced from his lesbian wife.]

Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, you know? I mean, what if you get one woman, and that's it? Unfortunately, in my case, it was only one woman for her.

Joey: What are you talking about? One woman? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get them with jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, what, eight? Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!

Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.

Chandler: Stay out of my freezer!

Ross: First divorce: wife's hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second divorce: said the wrong name at the altar, kind of my fault. Third divorce: they shouldn't let you get married when you're that drunk and have stuff drawn all over your face, Nevada's fault.

Chandler: You tried to save a sandwich from a bullet? Joey: I know this doesn't make much sense...

Chandler: MUCH sense?

[Thanksgiving] Rachel: You know what we should do? We should play that game where everybody says what they're thankful for.

Joey: Oh! I should be thankful for the wonderful fall we've been having.

Everybody: YEAH!

Joey: I remember one day I was at the bus stop and this cool fall breeze came blowing out of nowhere and totally lifted this chick's skirt. Oh. And I'm also thankful for thongs.

[talking to Ross] Joey: I may only have a couple beers in me, but... I love you, man.

Chandler: I'm still on my first. I just think you're nice.

[Halloween costumes; Monica's Cat Woman and Phoebe's Super Girl]

Phoebe: Ah so we meet again oh Cat Woman

Monica: So we do oh Super Girl.

Phoebe: [Laughs] It's me, Phoebe.

Chandler: Hey Joey, where do Dutch people come from? Joey: Uh.. well the Pennsylvania Dutch come from Pennsylvania.

Chandler: and the other Dutch come from somewhere near the Netherlands right?

Joey: Nice try, see the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinkerbell come from.

[Ross is trying to cheer Chandler up who won't get out of his sweatpants]

Ross: C'mon man, just take em off, just take em off and we'll have some fun.

[Jack knows that Richard is dating a younger woman, but doesn't know that it's actually Monica] Jack Geller: Come on, tell us. Jack's friend: Yeah. Is she really 20?

Richard: I'm not telling you guys anything.

Jack Geller: Come on, Rich. It's my birthday, let me live vicariously.

Ross: Dad, you really don't want to do that.

Jack Geller: Ahh, what's a little mid-life crisis between friends?

Richard: Jack, would you let it go?

Jack Geller: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got my Porsche. You... you got your own speedster.

Richard: Guys, seriously, it's not like that.

Jack Geller: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I could- Ross: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.

Chandler: Now, remember, Ben, keep your balance. Ben: Thanks, daddy. Ross: No, remember, Ben, two mommies, one daddy.

Compiled from livesinabox.com